Posted on June 15th, 2008 by Dan Luke
I spent the eve of my 20th Birthday splattered onto the cushions of my couch. I hate them, my body sogs and melts into them as it stretches apart into more and more fat rolls. Watching television, watching movies, playing video games… these days anything that requires me to sit makes me feel like I’m aging. As if I didn’t drink enough milk as a child, leading me to have some kind of horrific calcium deficiency that causes my bones to grind up into powder; my hips to crack out of place. I’m starting to feel like an artifact and I’m only twenty.
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Filed under: Personal Entry, Season 2 | 2 Comments »
Posted on June 2nd, 2008 by Dan Luke
Throughout your twenty years of existence you have been nothing but a blessing. May you prosper and get very rich and famous in the next ten years. If you do not. Well, then you really fucked up. Actually, I take that back, what I meant to say was: May you survive the next ten years. Kay, c ya l8r bye.
Dan Luke’s Notable Achievements in the First Twenty Years of His Life:
[Editors Note: After intense contemplation we have found that Dan Luke has indeed, done nothing with the first twenty years of his life. May his next twenty be more fruitful and we apologize for the needless bulletpoints where we even attempted to make some sort of list of the things that he has done… again, we must reiterate that he has in fact, done absolutely nothing at all. He probably hasn’t even kissed a girl. ]
Filed under: Personal Entry, Season 2, Supplemental | No Comments »
Posted on May 27th, 2008 by Dan Luke
So you all have offered quite a bit of feedback and support through your comments this past year on the old Blogspot site and I am very appreciative of that. It was originally intended that all of your comments be transferred to this new site and the corresponding posts that you commented on but, due to the fact that I have parted ways with my previous collaborator/webmaster, this is looking somewhat unlikely (that is until I get a better understanding of Wordpress, which may take some time).
That is not to say that it is impossible, but for the moment it has to be set on the backburner so that I can concentrate on new content. So let this serve as a reference and some sort of pansyass tribute to all of you beautiful, succulent people with tender skin that have supported me through this entire process! And to the many, many people that have hated on me: As always, go fuck yourself.
Click ‘Read More’ to find your (and others) comments!
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Filed under: Season 2, Supplemental, WTF | No Comments »
Posted on May 23rd, 2008 by Dan Luke
This is going to be a long read. And most of it is going to be somewhat (outrageously) negative. So I’ll get the good things about Indiana Jones 4 out of the way first:
1.) Cate Blanchett is one of my favorite modern actresses (check out I’m Not There as well as Coffee and Cigarettes). And this movie definitely emphasizes her gorgeous eyes and thick juicy ass (that I want to slice off and wrap myself in for all eternity). So this movie is worth the price of admission for that alone.
2.) Harrison Ford is fantastic as Indiana Jones. Even though his young, spry, cocksure attitude and iconic whip seem to have been replaced with a rolled up newspaper and a gruff, cranky old man voice that always seems to have Ford one moment away from soiling his britches.
Now, on to the bad stuff.
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Filed under: Movies, Season 2 | 4 Comments »
Posted on May 21st, 2008 by Dan Luke
I remember watching an interview with Harvey Diamond. He was speaking on behalf of animal rights. Harvey argued,
“Put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I’ll buy you a new car.”
But I always found that argument to be unfair. I mean, the apple is ready to go, but I’d probably want to slice the rabbit to apart with a machete and then skin, smoke, and salt it (and then drape the intestines over myself as some sort of coat to keep warm). I figure then I’d have a delicious smoked rabbit as well as an apple.
I hate black and white thinkers like that. People that don’t consider the alternatives for each one of the problems we face every day and the willingness to adapt, try new things, and eventually (if we don’t shelter ourselves enough) evolve. The reason I bring this up is because of this: Fuck the RIAA.
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Filed under: Music, Personal Entry, Season 2 | 1 Comment »
