my friends & i had an argument the other night.  drunkenly slouched into the cushions of my couch I rambled about how stand up comedy, aside from zach galifinakis, is more or less dead.  It was then that I was presented with an interesting question, “well dan, who is your favorite stand up comedian?”  i hesitated for a moment, racked my brain, & spat out “Bill Cosby.”

it seemed too easy, pretentious even, to simply say “bill cosby.”  after all, the man is a legend.  i was stumped by my own psyche for a few moments.  what compelled me to say “bill cosby?”  it took a few minutes & another beer before I realized:  bill cosby has a frame of reference.  his material stands the test of time.

i think that’s an important concept when related to these bullshit “best of the 00’s” list. especially the ones that have albums from THIS FUCKING YEAR. but alas, i fuckin’ digress, y’know? because for some reason, when i couldn’t sleep last night, i opened notepad on my computer and began to frantically assemble a top ten albums of the 00’s list. i don’t know why. maybe it was the sleep deprivation. or maybe subconsciously, at the end of this decade, as the loose ends are being pulled together tight, i feel a reason to take the mosaic mish-mash of albums that i love & adore & assemble them into an organized manner that makes sense to me.

nah, fuck that. it wasn’t that at all. in fact, my top 10 list soon expanded into a top 150 list. & i found myself thinkin’ “wow, there was a lot of real good shit this decade.” it seems obvious when i prompt myself to talk about it, but so many cats these days whine and moan about the decline of modern music. those cats are just too dumb & lazy to think or look & therefore, don’t deserve good music to begin with.

this list is a gigantic middle finger to those people.

so, what lies below is a labyrinth of text explaining why these albums are important. maybe you’ll see one that you dig, if you do, leave a comment because i’d love to talk about it. maybe you’ll see something you should check out, if you do, let me know and i’ll burn you a CD. or, maybe you’ll see a mess of narcissistic, self-referential bullshit. maybe you won’t read it at all, & after a little while, after it’s forgotten, it will cease to exist. i dunno. i’m not a fucking mind reader.

so, if you do indulge, enjoy. these are the best albums of the 00’s

dan luke.

50. up the bracket by the libertines
oh petey, you started off with the best of intentions. before moss, that mess you called babyshambles, & your heroin addiction you were just a kid from Richmond with a great songwriting partner & a fantastic debut album. up the bracket is a quick, drunken mess that is simultaneously catchy, somber, soulful, ferocious, & bizarre. such a shame that their follow-up album put more of a vocal focus on pete & emphasized a clean, sloppy sound as opposed to the mono radio buzz of this album. as it stands up the bracket is, and probably will always be, the only good album that pete doherty has been involved in.

49. self titled by be your own pet
goddamn, this band was a fucking firecracker. a bunch of rowdy teenagers that just exploded out of nashville & faded away a mere three years later. their self titled debut is like holding on to the roof of a speeding train – it pounds & marches with thumping bass, fuzzed out mindfuck guitars, drums that sound like a set of pots and pans tumbling down a flight of stairs, & a squirrely, yelping jemina pearl – a punk rock sweetheart that, at all times, is both violent & adorable. when the final song on your album is about the zombie apocalypse, it’s pretty safe to assume that you had a shit-kicking good time.

48. the man comes around by johnny cash
it’s the cathartic death rattle from johnny cash – written right after the death of his wife, & a few months before his own.  through his song selection, cash indulges in sentimental bliss (“in my life” by the beatles), fucks with your mind (“personal jesus” by depeche mode), & grieves (“hurt” by nine inch nails). this is quite possibly the saddest album i have ever heard.  what a fitting end to one of the biggest presences in american music history.

47. return to the sea by islands
this re-debut is a mess – but that’s what makes it intriguing. for those of you that don’t know, nick & jamie we’re a songwriting duo from the early 2000’s that referred to themselves as “the unicorns,” & goddamn did they put out a fantastic debut before re-branding themselves as a more “mature” band. the non-linear songwriting structure of “the unicorns” remains, but the bouncy synths & goofy references to biggie smalls have been traded for dark fairytales, bizarre rap breakdowns, & traditional instrumentation. return to the sea is worth the price of admission alone for the bouncy, acoustic fun of “don’t call me whitney, bobby” & the heartbreaking piano ballad “bucky little wing” a sentimental closing story of a guy & the best friend that he somehow lost along the way.

46. late registration by kanye west
i knew that a kanye album was going to be in the upper 40’s. i just didn’t know whether it would be “late registration” or “graduation.” the latter is a fantastic album with a thematically linked & intensely focused electronic production.  the former is a mish-mash of soul, gospel, classic & contemporary hip hop. fuck “the college dropout,” late registration blazes through hundreds of genres & touches on almost all of kanye’s influences. in addition, this album features a battle tested MC that can spit a mean hook.  word.

45. the grey album by danger mouse
fuck girl talk. danger mouse, while not the original innovator of the mash-up, certainly perfected it & showed what both the genre & DJ medium was fully capable of. this was the flagship album for the first generation of truly post modern music. danger mouse runs out of beatles & jay-z tracks before he runs out of ideas & as a result, the album is constantly bursting with energy as danger mouse whips up brand new hooks from thin air.

44. whatever people say i am… by the arctic monkeys
yeah, it’s true. we shouldn’t have believed the hype. two albums later i’m not sure if the arctic monkeys will ever actually achieve their full potential. BUT! what can be said is that this, like every other album here in the 40’s (& a common theme with bands in the 00’s in general), is a solid debut. the british music scene is that of the internet. all eyes turn toward one band. said band gets over hyped. said band explodes. said band burns out. it’s unfortunate that the scene that birthed the moneys has to be discussed, but it’s necessary to point out the importance of the internet in the 00’s (& forward from here), this will be discussed more with “Clap Your hands Say Yeah…”

43. satanic panic in the attic by of montreal
kevin barnes was one of the first members of the elephant six collective. a band of gross hippies that slept on each others floors, masturbated to pictures of vintage 4-tracks, obsessed about the beatles, & produced bands such as the incredible neutral milk hotel, apples in stereo, & of montreal. back in the elephant six days, barnes was known as a sort of vaudevillian freak obsessed with ragtime, classical music, & early 20th century plays. his eccentric tastes and freakish nature were laid out in the barren, almost folk like, early albums by of montreal such as “the gay parade,” but when the original iteration of the band broke up, barnes found himself alone with a drum machine, an electric guitar, & a 4-track. during this time barnes reinvented himself as a disco indie freak, obsessing with acts like prince and the bee-gee’s, the album that would stem from this would be “satanic panic in the attic,” one of the best albums of the 00’s from one of my favorite bands of all times. barnes experimental and bizarre creativity still fuels the whole affair, but the songs now featured blissful pop backdrops to barnes isolated, paranoid, & depressing lyrics. the second tier of barnes’ project is still one of the most captivating & compulsively listenable music around today.

42. picaresque by the decemberists
this is an epic listen. this is storytelling music at it’s best. the decemberists don’t give you bulky, contrived concept albums (…alright, “the crane wife” counts i guess.); they give you epic short stories of lost love, a failing jock, & a blood-thirsty revenge tale set in the belly of a giant whale – & this is the album that demonstrates it best. while it is easy to talk about the lyrics present in albums by the decemberists, it is often easy to forget the apt & keenly skilled backing band. not only are the decemberists capable of the craft of storytelling – they’re also clever musicians.

41. good bad not evil by the black lips
i like to describe the black lips as punk. not aesthetically in terms of their musical production, but more in terms of their rebellious spirit: their zest, energy, & unwillingness to be anything but themselves. this is a band that got chased out of india for “performing homosexual acts on stage,” and followed up this incredibly catchy & well selling album with an intentionally dense & inaccessible one. there is so much to be admired about the lips in good bad not evil. whether it be the twanging 1960’s guitar tones, the brilliant melodies, or the “frankly, i don’t give a fuck” vocal delivery on the whole goddamn affair.

40. self titled by ambulance ltd
this is really becoming a reoccurring theme in this list: a great debut from a band that was never seen or heard from again. this is an album full of dreamscapes, some great lennon-esque songwriting, & fantastic freak out, rock out moments.

TO BE CONTINUED!