Classical Composer of the Month: Andrew W.K.
F or us, a truly great musician can make music that is both classical, unrelenting, and timeless. There are Motzart’s Piano Sonata in C major, 2nd movement , Beethoven’s 5th , perhaps even Bach’s Mass in B Minor . But none of these capture the true essence of a classic song: One of unparalleled song writing causing your heart to beat wildly and explode like an artillery hand grenade ( spewing chunks of your torso all over your street ), one which moves your soul like the deep currents of an ocean, and then slices them like some kind of amazing emo goddess .
U nder most circumstances, a good artist will prevail and become a classic artist. This artist is Andrew W.K.
C uriously enough, you may say “Dan Luke, Andrew W.K. is but a mere shell of a man hopelessly steeped in mindless self indulgence , one which believes that pure physical brutality , screaming, and fr antic, childish waving of arms is the correct way to construct a song! His songs are a vicious and malicious assault on my earbuds , as they are over-produced , radio-raping , musical sludge that pounds through my conscious and into my subconscious! “
K ay. You know what I say to that?
FUCK THAT. IT’S TIME TO PARTY. LET’S PARTY. FUCKING PARTY. ARE YOU FUCKING PARTYING YET? GNAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
A h, but you all are self obsessed, know it alls! You know nothing of music! Andrew W.K. is our generation’s BOB DYLAN. It’s all in the lyrics man. For instance:
It’s time to party, Let’s party
Hang out with yourself and have a crazy party
Hey you, let’s party
Have a killer party and Party!
N otice the lyrical subtlety here. Andrew W.K. is implying that we should have something. It’s so Anti-Folk of him. Perhaps some sort of get together involving novelty coned hates , lemonades, and creepy clowns that may or may not be way too friendly with your five year old friends. Or perhaps he is discussing how Vietnam effected various cultural relations between the United States and various third world nations. The lyrics are both subtle and mysterious, alluring and subtle , subtle and subtle , but mostly subtle . It paints a vague , yet completely vivid picture .
So let’s get a party going (let’s get a party going)
Now it’s time to party and we’ll party hard (party hard)
Let’s get a party going (let’s get a party going)
When it’s time to party we will always party hard
Party hard (party hard, party hard, party hard party hard, party hard, party hard party hard, party hard, party hard party hard, party hard, party hard…)
D uly notice the emphasis on both party and hard here. Interesting right? It’s almost as if he wants us to party , but not only party … party hard . That is an interesting concept. Throughout my life I have partied to a lackluster extent . I never really invested every fiber of my being into the party. I just kind of showed up, drank a lot of beer, and rubbed the nearest fat girls tits. This song fixed that, saved my life, and lead me to Jesus.
R ambling am I? You will soon see the light, check out Andrew W.K.’s neo-feminist, the government blew up the WTC song:
I want to have a party
I want to have a party
I want to have a party
I want to have a party
You cannot kill the party
You cannot kill the party
You cannot kill the party
Long Live The Party
E xceptionally gifted and beautiful, yes? Andrew W.K. is a genius with the aura of David Bowie and the lyrics of a young Bob Dylan. I conclude that Andrew W.K. is the one true force keeping the earth rotating and the waves in sync with the patterns of the sun. When he dies it may truly be the end of us all.
W ith honor Mr. W.K. I present to you The Dangerous Mind of Dan Luke’s Classical Composer of the Month Award.
Dedicated to the man himself:
W.
K.
Filed under: Music, Pop Culture Ramblings, Season 2