Throughout your twenty years of existence you have been nothing but a blessing.  May you prosper and get very rich and famous in the next ten years.  If you do not.  Well, then you really fucked up.  Actually, I take that back, what I meant to say was:  May you survive the next ten years.  Kay, c ya l8r bye.

Dan Luke’s Notable Achievements in the First Twenty Years of His Life:

[Editors Note:  After intense contemplation we have found that Dan Luke has indeed, done nothing with the first twenty  years of his life.  May his next twenty be more fruitful and we apologize for the needless bulletpoints where we even attempted to make some sort of list of the things that he has done... again, we must reiterate that he has in fact, done absolutely nothing at all.  He probably hasn't even kissed a girl. ]