the pop culture ramblings of a lunatic.
Anecdote of the Day
Anecdote of the Day #7.
Mar 21st
This summer I worked at the Judge Mathis show. I was the intern in charge of doing the really EXTREME stuff… like shredding, light laundry, picking up fast food for the staff, tying little bits of string to baggage tags, lifting huge quantities of pretzels, taking the guests to smoke, typing reports, AND POLE VAULTING OFF OF MOTHER FUCKING BUILDINGS.
Anecdote of the Day #6.
Mar 19th
Sometimes I like to Wikipedia the term “Wikipedia” and ponder the paradox that I have fallen into.
Anecdote of the Day #5.
Mar 17th
I’m drinking water out of NOTORIOUS B.I.G. pint right now. It’s a mural of his fat, ogre-like face in front of some graffiti that a hooligan sprayed on the wall of whatever crack alley B.I.G. was in and holy fuck, NOTIRIOUS B.I.G. was fat. I have every reason to believe that if you hoisted his body up with a crane, he could be used as a wrecking ball.
Anecdote of the Day #4.
Mar 15th
This summer I worked at Epic Burger. I basically watched my night shift manager as he tumbled into a downward spiral of stealing, success, & lies. I also entertained many, many people that approached me at my cash register and said “Hey man, how EPIC are your burgers?”
To which I responded, “As epic as the Godfather parts one, two, & three combined if all of the roles were played by Sylvester Stallone & Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
To which they responded, “I don’t understand your sense of humor & I would greatly appreciate it if you just rang me up for the ‘Epic Combo.”
Anecdote of the Day #3.
Mar 13th
I haven’t done my laundry in nearly two months and this is not the first time. Over the summer I counted the days I didn’t do laundry (One hundred and twenty) and by the end of my “no-laundry gauntlet” I was wearing the scraps of underwear at the bottom of my drawer.
In the beginning my clothes smelled like wet dog – by the end they smelled like dead dog.