the pop culture ramblings of a lunatic.
Anecdote of the Day #1.
Mar 9th
I have a cousin named David that’s quite a bit older than me. He crashes at my Mom’s house sometimes. One night I was clattering away on my laptop in the den when he entered. “Dan,” he said, “I don’t get this Facebook thing. You’re generation is strangely disconnected. Like these High Schoolers I see on the bus, texting on their cellphones instead of talking to the other kids.” I agreed with him, but still think its creepy that my cousin looks at High School girls.
The Pussy and the Back Pube.
Mar 22nd
In the bathroom of my Dad’s house I stand in a towel staring into the mirror. Fresh from the shower I fixate my eyes on a renegade hair that has recently decided to sprout from a pore on my back.
This deeply perplexes me as I am a hairless creature by nature. It sucks. I hate being hairless. I have spent many a night drowning my kidneys in Jack Daniels with the hope that burly man hair would explode all over my chest and chin. But for every empty bottle I toss into the garbage I remain equally hairless. Looking less like a bear and more like a wirey hairless cat.
Raising a razor blade to him, I being to interrogate, “Elongated hair, defiler of pores, how the fuck did you get here? What do you want from me?”
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On Addictions and the INTARWEB
Apr 15th
Addictions are a strange thing. The field for addiction is both wide and vast in it’s endless glory. There are the always hilarious Heroin Addicts, the cutters that just love settling down with a knife, a cup of whiskey, and a My Chemical Romance album for a lovely night of self loathing as well as the slicing and dicing of their wrists until they can feel the sadness being emptied from their veins (I CUT MYSELF TO FEEL MAN). There are the Jews, who just love to sit down with a calculator and Unleavened Flat Bread as they calculate their taxes. And then there are people like me, addicted to all things relating to the Internet.
What’s my primary addiction? Facebook. Oh yes, those of you who know me in real life (or the glorious realms of the INTARWEB) know of my extravagant need to constantly update my status, girlshop for a potential wife, and take part in the always applicable facebook photo op.
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