Movies

How to Shave A Face.

Now it is time that I, the ruggedly handsome Dan Luke, shows you how to properly shave a face. This is a very hard but important process. Watch, leave feedback, and be sure to call me… ladies.

Film Club Chronicles DVD.

Hey All – I just wanted to put it on the record that Frank Romano and I are finished with the Film Club Chronicles DVD. The movie we made senior year of highschool. The details are as follows:

It’s been two long years. We took some time off – went to college. But the Film Club Chronicles DVD is finally here - and it’s pretty awesome.

Pics after the jump.
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Fuck Michael Bay.

Dark shadows with deep blue hues. The visual aesthetic is so dramatic, so raw, so urban, so street, so gritty, so unrelenting.

It’s beautiful, but at the same time – it looks like the interior of a mother fucking Russian submarine.

These dark shadows and their deep blue hues are cast upon flaming motorcycles as they jump over the rolling trailers of semi-trucks, that erupt into inexplicably bright explosions as helicopters flail wildly about in a downward descent toward all of the chaos. Large, burly men leap over debris and surf on top of the renegade sparking cars as they’re pushed further and further down the freeway on a tidal wave of fire and chaos. All in dark shadows with deep blue hues.

Welcome to style over substance, indulgence before art, stylistic bastardization if you will. Welcome to the world of Michael Bay, where a camera must pan, dolly, or truck in each and every shot. Where the story to special effect ratio is collectively cluster fucked and the dialog was written with crayons by a retarded fifth grader.
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At World’s End

I remember watching a BBC Documentary entitled ‘Guys and Dolls.’ It was a one hour special looking into the lives of various societal misfits and their life sized doll collections. How can I explain this? These men , they buy life sized, anatomically correct (Working Vagina? Check. Firm rubber breasts? Check.) dolls and live with them. One of them was a twenty-two year old kid living in his parents basement that spent the majority of his days talking to an inanimate doll. It was some sad shit.

But I guess it worked for them. And if it works for them, should I really be emitting so much pity and apathy toward them?

I’m starting to feel that way toward the new Pirates movie. Can someone please tell me what the appeal behind this series is? Can someone tell me why it’s so fucking funny that Johnny Depp plays a mildly retarded, tourette ridden pirate captain that walks like an effeminate brain-damaged gay man ? Yes, I get it . He is sashaying his hands from side to side. That method of walking is uncommon and strange. A+ America, you are enjoying some seriously hilarious shit.
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