the pop culture ramblings of a lunatic.
Season 2
Anecdote of the Day #4.
Mar 15th
This summer I worked at Epic Burger. I basically watched my night shift manager as he tumbled into a downward spiral of stealing, success, & lies. I also entertained many, many people that approached me at my cash register and said “Hey man, how EPIC are your burgers?”
To which I responded, “As epic as the Godfather parts one, two, & three combined if all of the roles were played by Sylvester Stallone & Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
To which they responded, “I don’t understand your sense of humor & I would greatly appreciate it if you just rang me up for the ‘Epic Combo.”
Anecdote of the Day #3.
Mar 13th
I haven’t done my laundry in nearly two months and this is not the first time. Over the summer I counted the days I didn’t do laundry (One hundred and twenty) and by the end of my “no-laundry gauntlet” I was wearing the scraps of underwear at the bottom of my drawer.
In the beginning my clothes smelled like wet dog – by the end they smelled like dead dog.
Anecdote of the Day #2.
Mar 11th
I sacrificed 10 of my Facebook friends for a Whopper. They were informed of my decision via newsfeed (It read “Dan Luke has sacrificed your friendship for Whopper.”). Needless to say, I can’t wait for my High School reunion where I have to explain that the Whopper I received for sacrificing them was all the more delicious because it felt like I was also consuming their souls.
My Super Suit(e) Diary #1
Mar 10th
As part of a social experiment I have begun to wear a suit and tie everyday. At the end of the day I journal about my super suit(e) adventure.
Today a librarian asked if I was a professor. To which I responded “No, sir. I’m just a regular Asian and you a horrible, racist human being.”
The librarian was Arab.
Anecdote of the Day #1.
Mar 9th
I have a cousin named David that’s quite a bit older than me. He crashes at my Mom’s house sometimes. One night I was clattering away on my laptop in the den when he entered. “Dan,” he said, “I don’t get this Facebook thing. You’re generation is strangely disconnected. Like these High Schoolers I see on the bus, texting on their cellphones instead of talking to the other kids.” I agreed with him, but still think its creepy that my cousin looks at High School girls.