Archive for April, 2007

Procrastination On A Deadline Weekend

I’m sick as fuck right now.

I’m pretty sure my sinuses are bleeding to death. That my synapses are over routing and that my body is quickly deteriorating and falling apart. I HAVE A VICIOUS MAN COLD. And on Tuesday of all days! So what was I to do? I have to please my babies, but I can’t just phone it in. I mean, I have a shitload of prewritten stuff that I was gonna put up, but frankly it sucks.
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Give my reguards to James Frey.


I’ve been getting alot of this lately. I blame that bearded douchebag James Frey. You might have heard of him? He was that dude that wrote “A Million Little Pieces,” a creative non-fiction megaseller that propelled him to the state of a modern day Jesus via a raving fat-assed Oprah.
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15 Seconds of Fame.

You will never find anyone that is as big of a loser as I am. Honestly, I’m not making that up: I’m a fuckin‘ dork. Now, I know that most people here believe otherwise because of the sexy, articulate manner I take towards my blog, but it’s true, I am a loser and it’s about time I come clean about it.

Now I’ve always wanted the concept of myself to be manly. Especially here on the realms of the INTAR WEB I wanted people to say “Oh HEY, there goes that VIN DIESEL look alike DAN LUKE cruising off on his awesome motorcycle that he built out of lumber and pine from his many years of manly lumber jacking with his godly biceps and Greek chiseled good looks! I HEAR HIS E-COCK IS HUGE!” But they don’t, it’s always “Wait… Which one are you? Harold or Kumar?”

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