Fuck Rosie O’Donell.

I am well read scholar. I maintain a 4.0 GPA at Columbia College Chicago where I recklessly fraternize with two legged vixen women whom are blood thirsty for yours truly in the sack.
However, as of late I have been diminished to a mere Puppy Walker.
Yes it’s true, I’ve had the mundane experience of walking […]

Dan Luke’s 15 Minutes are up.

The New York Times ran a piece on my blog today.  It was as remarkably breathtaking as it was shocking.  And needless to say I, the great Dan Luke, am even shocked and remarkably breathtooken’d with it.  It takes the very breath from my lungs and replaces it with the sulfur that can only be […]

Broke, Penniless, and Confused on the Merits of Anime Porn

[Editors Note: I’m gonna do things backwards this week. First the Supplemental to the essay and then, later this week, the essay itself. Does that make any sense? Nope! BTW I give this weeks update a 6/10]
I never imagined that I would be completely and utterly broke. I mean sure, […]

Michigan Must Die

I’m finally done with schooling. To celebrate, I spent $100+ to help my friend Jessica move into her new apartment in Michigan. Let me tell you before I go any further: Never go to Michigan. It is the place where dreams go to be brutally beaten to a bloody, gory death and […]

Bible Camp

…. He slew all the house of Baasha; he left him not one that pisseth against a wall….”(I Kings 16:11)
I’ll start this off with a list of things that I currently love: Whenever Paulie Walnuts beats the fuck out of someone on The Sopranos, taking a shit while smoking a cigarette and then tossing that […]

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