the pop culture ramblings of a lunatic.
Archive for June, 2008
Where I Will Stand.
Jun 15th
I spent the eve of my 20th Birthday splattered onto the cushions of my couch. I hate them, my body sogs and melts into them as it stretches apart into more and more fat rolls. Watching television, watching movies, playing video games… these days anything that requires me to sit makes me feel like I’m aging. As if I didn’t drink enough milk as a child, leading me to have some kind of horrific calcium deficiency that causes my bones to grind up into powder; my hips to crack out of place. I’m starting to feel like an artifact and I’m only twenty.
Happy Birthday Dan Luke.
Jun 2nd
Throughout your twenty years of existence you have been nothing but a blessing. May you prosper and get very rich and famous in the next ten years. If you do not. Well, then you really fucked up. Actually, I take that back, what I meant to say was: May you survive the next ten years. Kay, c ya l8r bye.
Dan Luke’s Notable Achievements in the First Twenty Years of His Life:
- Xanga (Wanted to fit in with Asians) / First Website (Wanted to fit in with white people)
- Failed Band. (Wanted to meet actual hot chicks)
- And a Band That Did Alright (But still didn’t get me hot chicks)
- A short film met with LUKEwarm reception.
- Dressed up like a chick and going to Rocky Horror Picture Show.
- Looked Like A Douchebag for Two Years.
- Pretended to Grow a Beard for a Model Shoot that Never Went Anywhere.
[Editors Note: After intense contemplation we have found that Dan Luke has indeed, done nothing with the first twenty years of his life. May his next twenty be more fruitful and we apologize for the needless bulletpoints where we even attempted to make some sort of list of the things that he has done... again, we must reiterate that he has in fact, done absolutely nothing at all. He probably hasn't even kissed a girl. ]