the pop culture ramblings of a lunatic.
My Super Suit(e) Diary #2
Mar 18th
FROM: VINCENT DEE
March 14 at 1:13pm
Hey man I’m the music host for The A List TV an online show brought to you by Fishbowl Media Productions. Recently I got promoted to Production Coordinator for both The A List TV and Fishbowl Media. I’m in charge of setting up shows and getting a creative team started for both A List and Fishbowl. We’ve got a Wild Card segment, basically a guy that will be doing strange segments(e.g getting a tattoo and fighting a female mma fighter) you seem like a character so I thought a funny segment would be both of you spending a whole day together suited up. You two will be doing fun activities like going to navy pier, trying to pick up girls, going to concert, picking up some grub, going to a night club or party, all suited up. Basically he’ll be living your life but you’ll have a wing man.
You heard it here first. Wearing a suit all month got me a job on a website and an online webshow about wearing a suit.
Anecdote of the Day #5.
Mar 17th
I’m drinking water out of NOTORIOUS B.I.G. pint right now. It’s a mural of his fat, ogre-like face in front of some graffiti that a hooligan sprayed on the wall of whatever crack alley B.I.G. was in and holy fuck, NOTIRIOUS B.I.G. was fat. I have every reason to believe that if you hoisted his body up with a crane, he could be used as a wrecking ball.
Anecdote of the Day #4.
Mar 15th
This summer I worked at Epic Burger. I basically watched my night shift manager as he tumbled into a downward spiral of stealing, success, & lies. I also entertained many, many people that approached me at my cash register and said “Hey man, how EPIC are your burgers?”
To which I responded, “As epic as the Godfather parts one, two, & three combined if all of the roles were played by Sylvester Stallone & Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
To which they responded, “I don’t understand your sense of humor & I would greatly appreciate it if you just rang me up for the ‘Epic Combo.”
Anecdote of the Day #3.
Mar 13th
I haven’t done my laundry in nearly two months and this is not the first time. Over the summer I counted the days I didn’t do laundry (One hundred and twenty) and by the end of my “no-laundry gauntlet” I was wearing the scraps of underwear at the bottom of my drawer.
In the beginning my clothes smelled like wet dog – by the end they smelled like dead dog.
Anecdote of the Day #2.
Mar 11th
I sacrificed 10 of my Facebook friends for a Whopper. They were informed of my decision via newsfeed (It read “Dan Luke has sacrificed your friendship for Whopper.”). Needless to say, I can’t wait for my High School reunion where I have to explain that the Whopper I received for sacrificing them was all the more delicious because it felt like I was also consuming their souls.