I had James G. over at my apartment tonight. That’s usually a good thing. He was in here to return my plunger since, being of the African American heritage, he takes unnaturally large shits. That’s what I believed at least, he reassured me however, that this is not the case and that African American’s take the same sized shits as tiny Asian-Italian Americans such as myself do. He has stolen my plunger on quite a frequent basis due to the fact his roommates have a very unconventional type of toilet paper: That of Paper Towels. Now, I don’t really need to go into the specifics of the ramifications for using Paper Towels in your shitter, except for the blatantly obvious fact that you’ll… y’know, clog your fuckin’ pipes and overflow shitwater everywhere all the time. And you’ll be gross and stinky and no one will like you.
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