MOVIES I DON’T GET.  EPISODE 1.

First off, fuck Edward Norton.  His generic brown-haired handsomeness and nasely voice will be his ultimate downfall.  That and the fact that he plays the same character in every fucking movie, it’s like “HEY GUYS, I’M EDWARD NORTON, I SMILE A LOT AND ACT LIKE A REAL NICE DUDE,”  I get it Ed… you jackass, it does not need to be reiterated in every flick (and for the record I do not find your smile to be even somewhat dazzling in the least and I believe that you very well may molest Tawaianese children).  I almost avoided this movie entirely because the top billed actor was Edward Norton and because I had heard the egotistical fuck actually recut the movie himself to get more screentime.

Edward Norton aside, there is quite a bit of hype about American History X.  You usually can’t have a conversation without the words powerful, insightful, disturbing, unforgettable, or intense.  I’m going to say this once:  Constant utilization of slow motion does not equal drama. Even when you set pulsating Hollywood strings over it.  In fact, when half of a movie is in slow motion with pulsing Hollywood strings it may be a sign that it is stuck so far up its own preachy ass that it has dropped the point and is just utilizing its subject to make you squeamish, disturbed, and to the brink of tears like a schoolgirl.  Silly gooses!  Did you really think Dan Luke would be subjected to your emotional manipulations because you are dealing with real racial issues?  Go fuck yourself.  AND WHILE I AM NOT AN EMOTIONLESS ANDROID SENT BACK IN TIME TO MAKE LOVE,  I WILL NOT HAVE MY HUMAN EMOTIONS POKED AND PRODDED AT WITH YOUR INTENSE SUBJECT MATTER.

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