Alright, I have finally had enough America.  This has gone too far.  It is August and I am still hearing about The Dark Knight.  I’m still seeing articles, reading e-mails, and getting Facebook invitations for groups petitioning to get Heath Ledger a posthumous Oscar.

It has become apparent, you all take Batman way too seriously.

In my mind Batman always seemed a little silly.  A mentally deranged S&M fanatic with a fetish for bats and spanking naughty people by night, and a white billionaire playboy by day.  I mean, everyone loves attractive, white billionaires that buy and do whatever they want (see the Hiltons).  But to this extent?  The Dark Knight has practically become a religious doctrine.  With Heath Ledger as its patron saint.

Check out this post I actually read on the group wall for Heath Ledger deserves a Posthumous Oscar for his performance as the ‘Joker’

[T]he dark night was absolutely the greatest film of all time…i defended the movie’s honour [sp] and almost got in to a fist fight with a co-worker because of it. [H]eath ledger can never be replaced, any effort to fill in the vacancy will be futile[.]

James T.

Gracious!  Good work young James!  Defending a fictional film is both a valiant and noble effort!  Both myself and the Ledger estate give a shit about you and your plight!  In fact, we plan to send you ten dozen roses and a golden trophy embroidered with your name.  Then we plan to name a town after you with a giant statue in your honor, it’ll read “Here Stands James, He Once Almost Got Into A Fist Fight With A Co-Worker Over A Movie.” And then we’ll make an award named THE BEST BOY EVER AWARD with a big sparkling medallion and we’ll stab the pin into your worthless fucking skull.

America it’s time to get real; The Dark Knight is turning into more of an obsessive pop-culture movement than the good flick that it should be remembered for.  It’s also a subject strained by hyper-sensitivity.  You have to love Ledger in it ’cause he’s dead and if you don’t you’re a dick.

Well I’m here to tell you that’s not true.  You can be a dick and you can discuss things you don’t like about the movie.  It’s not perfect and it’s not yet a classic.  So with that in mind, lets discuss the things that sucked in The Dark Knight in the hope of healing and moving on:

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