BRITNEY SPEARS.

Britney Spears got a serious marketing push from MTV on Sunday; receiving four Spacemen for her last album.  I do not understand this, as her last album sounds like it was sung by some sort vowel-exaggerating robot from the depths of a submarine.

Their plan as it seems, was to have Britney Spears attend the show and act completely normal.  This is to achieve said reaction:  “Aw dude, you totally missed the fucking VMA’s.  Britney Spears acted totally normal.  It was so neat.”  Britney Spears also gave the same exact speech each time with a soul-less stare that made her resemble an android.  Everybody, Britney would like to thank God, Her Two Sons, and her fans.  And in that exact order.  Every time.

THE BRITISH GUY.

Could someone please explain to Russel Brand that we get it: he’s British and he’s vulgar. Dude, how does your dick possibly fit into jeans. I’m serious, how do you not have some sort of circulatory dysfunction or cardiovascular disease from wearing the tightest black jeans known to man?

TOKIO HOTEL.

I do not know who Tokio Hotel are. But they kind of look like what would happen if Robert Smith had some sort of gay love child with the lead singer from My Chemical Romance and a bunch of Holocuast skeletons.

They are also fashionista’s. They have trail blazed a cutting edge new style: Goth Kids that shop at Express.

Read the rest of this entry »