I am well read scholar. I maintain a 4.0 GPA at Columbia College Chicago where I recklessly fraternize with two legged vixen women whom are blood thirsty for yours truly in the sack.

However, as of late I have been diminished to a mere Puppy Walker.

Yes it’s true, I’ve had the mundane experience of walking my new puppy out in the yard every morning so that it could take an epic shit. Now, I know that while most of you would find this activity adorable and perhaps even fun, I cannot share that sentiment. There is something about this puppy’s asshole that I just don’t trust , maybe that it keeps winking at me before it is going to take a shit. Or maybe it’s because it stretches to unthinkable proportions while depositing its very own puppy sludge.

While gazing into this miniature bowel movement my thoughts turned to Donald Trump. Not because Donald Trump has the facial and personable characteristics to that of a puppy’s asshole, but rather, his ongoing feud with Rosie O’Donnell.
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