the pop culture ramblings of a lunatic.
Posts tagged MICHAEL PHELPS
THE MICHAEL PHELPS MOVIE
Sep 29th
America is caught up in Michael Phelps mania lately. Michael Phelps is the new black, or whatever it is all the hipster kids are saying. All of us here at The Dangerous Mind of Dan Luke have been keeping up with the Michael Phelps coverage and saw this next step to be inevitable. So, without further to do we introduce to you our new film project: PHELPS: The Incredible True Story
PHELPS: The Incredible True Story chronicles the rise and fall of the most awkward looking and least charismatic athlete in American history. Starring Jeff Bridges, Uma Thurman, and Academy Award winner Adrien Brody as Michael Phelps. The biopic will show both the hardships of a young Michael Phelps as he battles the horrific and life crippling Attention Deficit Disorder as well as his legendary performance at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games where he made swimming marginally tolerable.
PHELPS: The Incredible True Story will teach Americans to cherish those with better genetics and the backing of large conglomerate corporations, rather than those who strive to achieve the American dream through hard work and sacrifice. Written by Dan Luke and directed by Ridley Scott with a tentative 2010 release date.
Special Thanks to my roommate Joe Marcello for the Adrien Brody suggestion (I originally said Matthew Broderick) and Frank Romano III for his wonderful Photoshop work.
13 REASONS THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE VMA’S SUCKED.
Sep 10th
BRITNEY SPEARS.
Britney Spears got a serious marketing push from MTV on Sunday; receiving four Spacemen for her last album. I do not understand this, as her last album sounds like it was sung by some sort vowel-exaggerating robot from the depths of a submarine.
Their plan as it seems, was to have Britney Spears attend the show and act completely normal. This is to achieve said reaction: “Aw dude, you totally missed the fucking VMA’s. Britney Spears acted totally normal. It was so neat.” Britney Spears also gave the same exact speech each time with a soul-less stare that made her resemble an android. Everybody, Britney would like to thank God, Her Two Sons, and her fans. And in that exact order. Every time.
THE BRITISH GUY.
Could someone please explain to Russel Brand that we get it: he’s British and he’s vulgar. Dude, how does your dick possibly fit into jeans. I’m serious, how do you not have some sort of circulatory dysfunction or cardiovascular disease from wearing the tightest black jeans known to man?
TOKIO HOTEL.
I do not know who Tokio Hotel are. But they kind of look like what would happen if Robert Smith had some sort of gay love child with the lead singer from My Chemical Romance and a bunch of Holocuast skeletons.
They are also fashionista’s. They have trail blazed a cutting edge new style: Goth Kids that shop at Express.